On Friday, we showed up to MAGFest and wandered past the severely diminished registration line (by daily comparison). N1NJ4 immediately points out to me that he just saw brentalfloss go down the escalator. I book it like there's no tomorrow, then have a leisurely ride down as I see him walking out of sight. Now, my first thought is, "Wow, holy shit, he's got a pretty big head." My second thought was, "Ah, he looks like he's with his girlfriend and CK said everybody's gonna contact him about interviews and he's got everything under control." So I didn't jump off the side of the escalator and knock down thirty people and then hump brentalfloss' leg, like I was considering.

And then we never saw him again.

Let that be a lesson to you: I do not make good decisions. Jumping, knocking, and humping is the proper procedure for any and all brentalfloss encounters in the future. Make a note of it.

This really double-sucks because he and Metroid Metal were the two people/groups thereof that I had wanted to see and interview during my time there the most. I bought both of their CDs ahead of time in case they didn't have any on-hand for me to buy and get signed.

So I'm out some cash, too, I guess.

We head through the Dealer's Quadrant and a lady stops us and tries to entice us into a room with candy. Now, kids. What do we do when a stranger offers you candy and invites you into a place you've never been?

That's right, you gladly accept and follow them wherever they want you to go.

Inside, they were doing photoshoots. They'll take a bunch of shots of you, and then give you a free print of whatever picture you like. Then you can pay to get the rest of them on disc or email or whatever you want. That's a pretty good deal.

They were taking pictographs of a really fantastic group of Resident Evil characters. Let's see, we've got Wesker (<3), Jill, Rebecca, Claire, and Ada Wong. And then a Chun-Li shows up and let's see... me, CK, N1NJ4, Wesker, computer guy, and two homebrewers... that's 7... Jill, Rebecca, Claire, Ada Wong, Chun-Li, candy lady, and picture lady... that's also 7! This is officially the only moment during a convention that I haven't been in a room that was technically a sausage fest.

Also, 1:1. I like those odds. I don't even need to call dibs, everybody in this room is cute.

Everybody.

N1NJ4, why won't you return my calls? :<

(I want to be near your body.)

So finally they ask us what sort of picture we want, and the guys indicate that I'm making the call here. So here's what I propose: We get me and Wesker in the background, and Wesker's kicking my ass. Then the other guys are in the foreground with their arms around the ladies (including Chun-Li) looking highly successful and proud of themselves.

Never say I've never done anything for my friends.

So we agree on that, only exchanging the foregrounds and background in that description. And then here's what we actually got three or four pictures taken of: Me in the foreground, on my knees, being held around the throat by Wesker. Now, as I clearly established in my photo of me and Maddox (that most of you haven't seen, I grant you this), I cannot make a surprised/shocked/horrified look of being choked coupled with a profile view without looking completely bored. Anyways, so I look awful and then everybody who's not the two of us is standing behind us, just sort of looking at us, occasionally smiling, and not paying attention to each other at all.

Good job, group.

I got to sit there and stare into Wesker's eyes for awhile though, so that's a plus. Actually, he was wearing sunglasses and all I could see was my own reflection, so I got to stare into my eyes for awhile (which, really, is also a plus). This sort of helped me judge my face for the photo, so I'm making faces into Wesker's eyes and commenting that it's a good thing he has those on or this would be highly awkward.

So we finish and they finish and Chun-Li goes up and does her stuff while we stand around and wait. Nudge N1NJ4 (or CK, I can't really remember because my mind was obviously preoccupied) when she does her high-kick pose (I refuse to apologize for being perverted towards something that was clearly provided to me through no fault of my own).

So I joke around with the candy lady for a bit while CK goes and plays some homebrew. You may have noticed me mention the homebrew guys, earlier. There were two of them. This guy was showing off his own creation, Assimilate, which he had built into an actual NES cartridge. It's pretty cool. I watched CK fly around for awhile, picking up dudes and anal probing them and dropping them off at their respective homes. Typical Friday for CK, really.

ZING.

Meanwhile, the guy at the end of the table is showing off his Mega Man hack, Battle Kid. Not sure if it was the first one or the second one. I check that out for a bit, then head back to Assimilate. I'm standing behind CK watching him and the creator talk about the game, while the creator shows him a few tricks and whatnot. The creator goes to do some other stuff, so now it's just me, CK, and Assimilate. And we're really into it. And I absentmindedly gaze off to my right and standing directly beside me is fucking Spoony.

I do a double-take, and then this crazy blown-backward hand-flail movement motion of amazery. He nods, knowingly, then starts to check out the room. Meanwhile, I twist CK's head a good 180 degrees on his shoulders to show him the new star of the room. He's thoroughly non-plussed by all this because blah blah he knew Spoony, That Guy with the Glasses, and AVGN when they were just starting out yadda yadda he's told me all the stories.

So, I totally nerd out on him and get his autograph, but I don't bother him for a photo, assuming that later on we'd get an interview (once again, wrong - but it's all good, N1NJ4 got a sneak-shot of him standing near me during one of his "Blind Amedeus Like an A-Hole" raids). He and CK talk for awhile and exchange some info and we're set up to contact him for an interview. Our new goal is to get him and Jon St. John in the same interview because why not.

That's my motto. I live by it. It's why I do everything I do.

Finally, Chun-Li gets her photos taken care of, and the RE people are finishing up their stuff. I come by and check out what they're looking at just as they're getting to the shots with Space Monkeys in them. They get their stuff, and the guy pulls open the last few pictures for me and we decide on one because of the people in the background. See, I look good in one single shot. But everybody else looks good in a different shot. So clearly we have to get that one.

Then we get that one.

We leave there and head for the Console Room. CK gives me his battery charger and a bunch of stuff for one of the cameras and tells me to find an outlet in there and charge this stuff while he attends the JewWario panel. I oblige. They stop us this time on the way in, because you're supposed to leave your stuff on a table just inside the door. But we show them our badges and it's all good. Then... something. I have something that I have to give back to CK. I don't remember what, but I call him and he doesn't answer, so I chase him halfway across the convention and wind up just going to the panel with him when all's said and done.

We pass by Jon St. John doing a signing in the sitting area. It's somewhere around the time we were supposed to meet him, but CK insists we'll catch him later, after he's done here. Spoony's in line, and because CK completely forgot to tell me certain information, I spend the next five to ten minutes standing a few feet away from him, urging CK to try and set up the interview NOW, since they're both right here. This only hassles Spoony more, and makes us look like tards because I DIDN'T KNOW SECRETS THAT WEREN'T DIVULGED TO ME.

Now, the thing with Spoony is, every time I saw him he was just so not into being around anyone anymore. And can you blame the guy? He's had fifty panels in the past 24 hours and has been nothing but hounded by rabid fans since he set foot in the place. He was completely burnt out and just wanted to meet JSJ and get an autograph, and be the fanboy himself for once.

So we get in line for JewWario and Lotus Prince is up a bit further from us and doesn't know it. And Zhu Zhu and Perry get in line further behind us, and we wave to each other. Matthew Mercer wanders by a couple times. This is like the third or fourth time we've seen him since the Gamer Iron Chef the day before. He must be following me.

Most gorgeous stalker I've ever had